2003-07-03 - 1:54 a.m.

HOLY FUCK HE'S NOT DEAD AND HE'S UPDATING!!!!

So yeah, it's me. Not that anyone is listening but hey, whatever. I think its time to put the woo cvannons aside and just be me for a while.

Life prgresses--I find myself worrying that I'm slowly settling into a morass of suburbian hell. Will I wake up one morning to find myself an Asian Ward Cleaver?

the scary thing is that I was forced to attenend another basatred wedding and...I swear to fuck I can't beleive I'm typing this...I liked it. It was nice. And I found myself wondering if maybe waking up next to someone for the rest of my life wasn't so bad, wondering if maybe this was the right thing for me: find the right woman and settle down.

I'm fucking doomed aren't I?

Currently, I'm pinning my heart to a woman who is comfortably an ocean away and who I will never see again. She can live happily in my memory and I can shunt all of my venomous matrimonial feelings towards her absent shadow of a form. I can fall in love with a ghost of memory.

Anyway, other than that i wonder if I'm not fucking up my life by not being Padraig and scaling the ivy on the ivory tower. I just can't shake that feeling. Time will tell.

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