2003-07-04 - 1:55 a.m.

So I have this dream where She’s walking out of class or work or something, talking with her friends, laughing. She’s happy because she’s her prettiest when she’s happy. The light and the breeze catches her hair just right and she looks just like the time she was in my car and the wind had made her hair dance and she looked so good and I would have given up my soul for that ride to never end.

And then she sees me and she stops and catches her breath. I’m standing there in a leather jacket, jeans, t-shirt, a Lucy Strip hanging from my lips and she looks surprised and excited and a little scared and I walk up to her and we kiss and her lips are warm and her eyes are wide and I say

“Let’s go. Just us, you and me. I’ve got the drop-top Caddy and the trunk full of guns and that bag, the one that looks like a bowling ball case? That bag’s stuffed with cash. Just you and me C--, just the two of us in that car with that cash and those guns and the open road. Let’s do it. No one telling us what to do, no deadlines of limits. We’ll sleep in late; we’ll drive out to the middle of the dessert at night and make love until we’re all sweaty and fall asleep in each other’s arms and let the cool night air dry out bodies. In the morning you, I’ll pull on my jeans and you just wear my t-shirt buttoned tight across your breasts in that way that makes it so damn hard for me to drive so we’ll stop at a Wall Mart and buy new stuff ant catch looks from all the people but we won’t give a damn. We’ll eat in small diners and swim in rivers and the ocean, when get near the coast. We’ll dance all night in raves held in the gutted warehouses and the we’ll buy a bottle of mescal and some peyote or ex from a Mexican dwarf named Chaco and drive out to the top of a mesa and take drugs and get drunk and hold each other and I’ll tell you you’re beautiful and that I’ve been in love with you from the first day and you’ll finally believe me and you say you love me and then we’ll hallucinate that we’re wandering across the plains 100 years before Columbus. Let’s do it; just you and me. We’ll fight evil Carnies and vampires and then go to Sturgis and get tattoos and then go to Mount Rushmore and fuck each other’s brains out on the top of Teddy Roosevelt’s head. What do you say?”

And even as I’m saying this know that this is a dream and it will never happen and it’s nice to think about it but even if it did happen she would just look at me like I was crazy and deep down, I know that I would drive away, guns, caddy and all.

Recommended listening “Boys of Summer” remix by the Ataris.

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