2004-06-25 - 6:02 a.m.

Okay so I finally have an update worth a damn. Just remeber this is all Curare's and Vessica's fault. Mostly Curare's. I don't know if I'm going to write anymore after this but I no longer hate all of you. And for the record this thing went through an entire from scratch rewrite because the first version was crap and this is a lot more...pornographic. I'm going to hell for this, aren't I?

Once upon a time at Hogwarts….

Minerva McGonnagal tried to suppress a smile but failed. She couldn’t help it. Hogwarts Alumni Weekend was always an even t she enjoyed; seeing all the old faces, the newly graduated students trying to act grave and wise, the old alums coming back to rekindle their youth. It was a mixing of generations and, despite he attempts to suppress her grin, she truly enjoyed seeing this mixing of the generations.

Working her way though floating buffets full of house elf conjured delicacies, McGonagall noted some of the attendees. She spotted Arthur and Molly Weasley, talking and laughing with several other alums from their year. Huddling conspiratorially in a corner, Mundungus Fletcher and several others of the more shady Hogwarts alums talked in furtive whispers while towering over the rest, Hagrid and Charley Weasley compared notes on dragons. In another cluster, Victoria Vessica, a not-too-evil Slytherin discussed galleon futures vs. the yen on the Grongot’s Exchange with Tenchi Hoku, a serious looking Ravenclaw that had been posted to the Ministry of Magic’s Japan offices. On the dance floor, clearly enjoying herself to the music of the Weird Sisters, Nymphadora Tonks thrashed out muggle punk moves with a grace only her natural animagus skills could conjure, while Kingsley Shacklebolt kept up with a smoothness that lived up to his reputation. For a moment, Kinsley and Minerva’s eyes met and he gave her a smile that made her cheeks run hot, along with other—decidedly lower—parts of her body. If half the stories they said about Kingsley were true then that smoothness extended to other skills than dancing.

On the dance floor, Tonks followed Kingsley’s gaze and shook her head.

“Honestly King. She’s old enough to be your mum.”

“Then consider her the ultimate MILF. Come on, this is Minerva McGonagall. Besides, I bet you a galleon she cums like a howler.”

“Jesus, you are a filthy old man.”

“I didn’t hear you complain last night. Besides, I’m not the one who did it doggy style with old Mooney Lupin. Or would that be wolfy style?”

Tonks shot Kingsley a dirty look. “Fuck off. Besides, Remus wasn’t the only one howling that night. But just for that, you can go and polish your wand by yourself tonight. I’m stalking some fresh meat.”

Kinglsey turned and saw Bill Weasley, in his signature dragon leather jacket—with the fang earring—dancing very closely to a drop dead gorgeous blonde girl.

“Ah. Bill Weasley and his veela bint Fleur.”

“Mmmm,” Tonks said lustily. “I like his style. I bet he’d be appreciative of an animagus’ skills.”

“From the way he’s dancing with Fleur, you might have to share.”

“Hmmm, I could definitely go for some French cuisine on the side. Besides, you know what they say about veela.”

“You are a filthy slag. Well, just remember who got top N.E.W.T.S. in spy charms.”

“Oh, poor Kingsley. We can’t have you sprain your wand arm. Maybe you had better go up to old McGonagall and see about making up some of those oral exams you missed from your student days. Or see if Molly and Arthur would like to get back into the ‘swing’ of things? Or look, there’s Trelawney. I’m sure she’d like to show you her divination orbs. Or Madame Pomfrey? She’s got a healer’s uniform from St. Mungo’s right? We all know how much you like that.”

Kingsley smiled and opened his mouth to retort when he saw the Great Hall’s door’s open. His jaw dropped in shocked surprise as the black clad figure walked in. Seeing his face, Tonks turned, worried since it took a lot to shock Kingsley, her hand instinctively dropping to her holstered wand. Then her face registered the same shock.

“Wazzup Hogwarts!! The Action is back and in the hiz-ouse!”

Walking in with a strut that would do a pimp proud, the long black dragon leather coat billowing behind him, Actionhero returned to Hogwarts. His hair was shorter, almost shaved off, and under the coat, he work black jeans and a wifebeater A-Shirt that showed arcane rune tattoos on his chest, neck and arms, giving him a more primitive, barbaric look. Around his waist and across his torso though, the signature Actionhero gun belts bulging with guns, blades and mysterious pouches. His standard black shades were on and of course, sung in customary cross-drawn fashion his infamous pair of ornichalcum plated pistol grip wands.

As he walked through the crowds, ripples of whispers, laughter, curses and praise seemed to hiss in his wake. Actionhero. The most infamous of all Hogwart’s exchange students. A two wand wizard from America, a graduate of the shadowy Invisible College, one of the all time experts on combat hexes and dark arts defense. He’d even taught at Hogwarts as a visiting professor, before the Ministry of magic realized that he was teaching students to use muggle weapons—enchanted muggle weapons at that—to kill dark wizards and creatures. Actionhero, the man who had single handedly killed the vampire wizard of Hong Kong with a death spell so vicious, it made avada kedavra look like a fucking jelly legs jinx. Actionhero, who was the real source of Gilderoy Lockheart’s stories, who’s patronus was reported to be a giant hand that pimp slapped dementors, and who had reputedly, in his time as a student at Hogwarts, pleasured every witch in Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin just because he could. Twice.

Grinning, hearing the whispers and not giving a fuck, Actionhero walked up to McGonagall and gave her a smile.

“Minerva. You’re looking all Judy Dench M hot. Give me some sugar baby.”

He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Tell me, where’s that limey bastard Albus. I have not seen him in ages.”

“Oh my,” McGonagal stuttered flustered. “Actionhero…I didn’t expect you here.”

“Well I was doing a little something something out in Diagon Alley and a little owl told me that it was Alumni Weekend at Hogwarts. And I had to stop on in.” He leaned in closer. “Besides, I hear you might be having some dark times ahead and I thought I might be able to bust a curse on some punk ass Death Eater ass, you know what I’m sayin’?”

“Well you’d have to talk to the Headmaster about that. But I’m afraid he’s in his office in some kind of last minute meeting. In the meantime, it is good to see you. Would you like some refreshments?”

“Yeah but none of that pumpkin juice shit. You got a any malt liquor?”

“MOTHERFUCKER!!!”

Actionhero turned just in time to catch Tonks in his arms as she jumped on him and drowned him a hug.

“Jesus you crazy punk witch. Ease off. You’ve got a grip like a horny troll.”

Tonks disengaged and then summarily punched Actionhero in gut.

“\Ow! Shit, what was that for?”

“That was for leaving lasting time without saying goodbye.”

“I didn’t want to wake you up. Kingsley!! Wassup? Holy shit, what happened to your afro?”

Kingsley smiled and gripped Actionhero hand in greeting, pulling into a half guy hug, complete with the customary hit to the back. “I had to shave it off. Ministry regulation.”

“Sellout. Offer to join Man of Mystery is still open. You could wear your hair all you want and you know Suki misses you.”

“Well I miss her too. That girl has skills.”

“Yes she does, though I think I like her skills with my Caddy better. Of course, whatever gets your engine running.” Actionhero turned to Tonks. “And what about you, Nympho?”

“You know I hate it when you call me that.”

“Well if the shoe fits…. Still shilling for the Man?”

“Yeah. We’re really busy with You-Know-Who back. This party is the first chance I’ve gotten to relax.”

“Well maybe I can help. Just between you, me and the old crew, I’ve got a stash of gear to make some Death Eaters shit their pants. And you know what I’m talking about. None of this stun spell shit. I’m talking .45s with “Mad-Eye” targeting, ensorcelled with Never Empty Clips. Mythril blades with 5 different flavors of curses and death spells. And some good old fashioned shotguns, uzis, and baseball bats with nails for some muggle style ass kicking. They’re in one of my vaults at Gringotts. Let the goblins know if you need it. I’ve made arrangements.”

Kingsley shook his head. “Same old Actionhero.”

“Yeah, always with the cowboy shite,” Tonks said. “Typically American. Speaking of which, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

“Oh really? If it’s Mundungus Fletcher, I’ve already met him. By the way, he’s got a really good stash of conjurer’s kronic, if you know what I mean.”

“Not Dung, dumbass. She’s an exchange student, from the States. She went up to the owlery to check the post but she should be back any sec…oh there she is. Oi! Circe!! Come over here, you’ve got to meet this bloke.”

Actionhero turned and caught his breath. Walking up to him was one of the most drop dead gorgeous witches he’d seen. She wore colored purple like Tonks’, though it was a little longer than Tonks’ spiky punk cut. She wore dark rimmed glasses that on any other woman might have looked shrewish and overly bookish, but on her it added a quirky sexiness, one accentuated by a long sleek neck and legs that were made for a long slow seductive walk. With her robe oven in the front and hanging like a long coat, showing off the Hogwarts issue knee socks, black patent leather Mary-Janes, just-too-short plaid skirt (flashing a hint of thigh with every walk), white button down oxford shirt and green and silver tie (tantalizingly loosened at the collar just enough to give a peek at the curves of her breasts) she was the perfect school girl fantasy.

All Actionhero could do was exhale. “Bootylicious.”

Circe smiled, again a mix of quirky cute and sexy seduction. “You must be Actionhero. I’m Circe.”

“Pleasure to meet you. We wouldn’t happen to be from the same alma mater would we?”

“Now that would be telling. Besides, from what I hear, you be the one person who could appreciate a woman of mystery.”

“What have you heard?”

“Just the usual stuff about your time here. It’s very interesting.”

“Filthy lies and slander all of it.”

“Oh really?” Circe asked, arching an eyebrow. “Care to take some veritaserum and answer some questions?”

“How about we just enjoy a drink and talk, like two expatriate Yanks in the land of Albion.”

“Done. Just not that pumpkin juice. Ugh. Tonks slipped me a gin and pumpkin juice my first night here and I nearly vomited up my spleen.”

“Well I think I can conjure up some fire whiskey or a smooth refreshing malt liquor.”

Kingsley made a face. “You yanks have no sense of taste. I tell you want, we can nip down to Hogesmeade and get a proper pint if you like.”

“Later,” Tonks said. “The band is starting up a new set and I want to dance. Come on King, let’s get it on.”

Actionhero nodded in the direction of Tonks and Kingsley. Circe smiled and nodded, and both of them went out to the dance floor. After several fast numbers that got most of the wizards and witches out on the dance floors—some wizard punk and covers of ‘80s goblin pop rock that sounded to Actionhero and Circe suspiciously like Madonna—the band settled into a slow, bluesy number. Almost automatically Circe put her arms around Actionhero’s neck and pulled him in close, while his hands moved down her sides to her hips, coming to a rest at the small of her back.

Circe smiled as she looked over Actionhero’s shoulder. “Looks like Tonks and Kingsley are having a good time.”

“I noticed. By the way where do you think her hands are?”

“How can you see that? They’re behind you.”

“I’ve got a ‘Mad-Eye’ charm on my shades.”

“So you can se behind you?”

“Yup. Constant vigilance as he says.”

“And what about the whole x-ray vision thing?”

“Got that option too.”

“Have you used it lately?”

“Haven’t really had too.”

“Oh? I’m surprised. You might be missing out on seeing something you’d like.”

“I don’t think I need x-ray vision to see something I like.”

Circe looked at Actionhero, but the shades prevented him from seeing his eyes. Nevertheless he smiled and, a moment later, she smiled too. She pulled Actionhero closer and ground her hips into his, satisfied as she her him gasp softly. She placed her lips to his ear and whispered, “Tonks warned me about you.”

“And what did she say?”

Before she could reply, the music stopped abruptly. The assembled wizards and witches tuned in confusion and saw Albus Dumbledore on the main stage.

“I am sorry to interrupt you but I have some serious news. It seems that there is an intruder here at Hogwarts and I must ask all of you to stay here in the Great Hall while I and the other professors see to this matter.”

“You’ll need some help Dumbledore,” Kingsley said.

“Thank you Kingsley. If you could gather a few volunteers to help search the castle I would be most appreciative.”

Actionhero walked up to Kinglsey before anyone else could. “You not even going to bother trying to tell me that I’m not invited on this are you?”

“Don’t worry. I learned my lesson in Prague. What do you want to do?”

“I’ve got these ‘Mad-Eye’ shades that should help. Any idea what this is all about?”

“Could be anything. A dark wizard, one of you-know-who’s disciples, a troll, you name it. You could ask Dumbledore but…”

“But I don’t want a goddamn exposition that lasts a hundred pages. Shit. Well what ever it is, if I can’t hex it I can damn sure bust a cap in its ass. All right, I’m going to go ask some of the portraits if they heard or saw anything. The Fat Lady still keep the proverbial ear to the ground?”

“You know it. I’ll coordinate things here. If you don’t see anything just search Gryffindor and come back here. And Hero, try not make a mess and leave a body count.”

“Damn, you have gone Ministry. All right, I’ll do my best.”

Actionhero turned and saw Circe standing in front of him. “I don’t suppose you’re even going to bother trying to tell me that I’m not invited on this one?”

Actionhero smiled. “I was hoping you’d be up for a little wand work.”

“Game on, baby.”

***

Circe and Actionhero walked through the dark stone passageway. It had an abandoned look to it and both of them had their wands out and lit.

“Are you sure about this?” Circe asked.

“Well the Fat Lady said that some of the portraits saw someone headed for this wing. I didn’t even know it was here. How big is this place anyway?”

“I don’t know. Wait. You went to school here AND you taught here. How come you don’t know?”

“Well, let’s just say I had more important things to do than play dungeons and dragons.”

“I’ll bet.”

Actionhero stopped and looked at Circe who still work that smile of hers.

“All right. I’m not moving from this spot until you tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“What you’ve heard about me.”

“Oh come one. You don’t even know your own reputation? The stories about you? It’s a pity. They’re really juicy.”

Actionhero shrugged his shoulder and continued walking. “I give up. You know everything ‘they” say about me, which I’ll grant has a ring of truth and I know nothing about you. You obviously like having the upper hand here and me at your mercy.”

“What a yummy thought.”

“Wait a sec. I see something.”

“How? It’s pitch black.”

“My shades. The charm has night vision also. There. At the end of the hallway. There’s something moving.”

“I still can’t see. Wait. LUMOS!”

A flash of radiance filled the hallway. A the end of it, no longer hidden by shadow, a robed and hooded figure. It turned and both Actionhero and Circe saw in its hand a long, ornate sword in a scabbard.

“STUPEFY!!!!!!” both yelled simultaneously. Twin crimson bolts shot out of each of their wands. But the figure was too quick and dodged the stun spells by ducking around a corner and the red beams hit the far end of the hallway shooting up a shower of sparks.

“Oh hell no,” Actionhero said, drawing his second wand and breaking into a run.

“Did I just see YOU shoot a stun spell?” Circe said as she ran next to him.

“Yeah but no more of that shit. Did you see what that fucker had?”

“Yeah. The sword of Gryffindor. How the hell did he get that? I thought it was locked up in Dumbledore’s office?”

“I don’t know but there is no way that piece of shit is getting out of here with that. I’m gonna go all Gandalf on his ass.”

Both reached the corner where the figure had ducked around and stopped. Actionhero stared at the wall.

“Clear. He’s gone though a door at the end of this hallway.”

Both walked around the corner and saw the door, hanging slightly open.

“Why do I get the feeling this is a trap?” Circe asked.

“Because its exactly what you or I would do. You got any ideas?”

“Short of kicking down the door and going in wands blazing? No. Can you see on the other side?”

“No. There’s some kind of ward on the door. But I can tell you the sneakoscope in my pocket is going crazy.”

“Is that what that was? And here I though you were attracted to me.”

“Believe me, when we’re done here, I’m going to fuck your brains out. Now, I’m going to go in first. Cover me.”

“Is this some kind of macho bullshit because I ain’t no damsel in distress and if you start treating me like one I’m going to kick your ass.”

“Christ, knock it off,” Actionhero said, shrugging off his long coat and taking off his shirt. Circe watched and the faintly lecherous smile on her face changed to surprise as she watched the runes on his body begin to glow. “Armor and shield charms. Got them inked on at Diagon Alley. This should give me protection, allow me to draw any fire and give you a shot.”

“You and I both know those things aren’t a hundred percent effective. And what if the bastard uses the Killing Curse? If that’s a dark wizard they’re going to go for that right away. And there’s no defense for that. This is a stupid idea.”

“Well if I die, then you can kick my ass.” Actionhero saw her open her mouth again and quickly cut her off. “Look you want to keep wasting time trying to tell me I’m not going to do this or are you going to back me up? Come on, let’s dance.”

“Wait” Circe said. She walked over to Actionhero and kissed him, pulling him to her. “That was for luck. And if you live though this bullshit stunt, I’m going to kick your ass. And then I’m going to fuck your brains out.”

“Yeah baby.”

Actionhero hit the door hard and dropped to a roll immediately. The Mad Eye charm on his shades allowed him to see the room and the wizard as he rolled across the stone floor. The robed and masked figure was at the far end, with a clear line of fire towards the door, which seemed to be the only way out. The room itself was a kind of storeroom, filled with some moldering old furniture, boxes, and rusted decorative armor.

Actionhero the dark wizard scream something and then the sizzle of the air as a hail of spells flew by him. One hit his back and he felt the runes deflect it, though the spell still hurt like a motherfucker. Another stronger spell hit his shoulder and he snarled as he felt the runes tear off of his skin, leaving a shallow, but bloody gash. Reaching his feet, and instinctively gripping his shoulder, he saw Circe rush in, aim and let fly with her own spells at the masked figure across the room. She hit him dead on, but her spells were stopped by a shield charm.

Actionhero raised his own wands and fired, bolts of flame and raw sledgehammer force battered the shield charm and broke it, but the dark wizard dodged again.

“Too slow, Hero.”

“Yeah?” Circe snarled. “Dodge this, bitch. REDUCTO!!”

The hex hit the dark wizard head on and slammed him into the far wall.

“Damn you!! SERPENT SORCIA!!! ENGORGIO!!!”

A cobra shot out from the dark wizard’s wand, hitting the floor and then began to grow. Actionhero and Circe backed off as the snake began to fill the room, its reared head already as tall as a cave troll, its fangs as long as swords and dripping venom that burned the stone floor.

Circe raised a wand but Actionhero grabbed her arm. “No. It’s too big. Any spell you fire will just bounce off and hit us. You go after Saruman wannabe over there. I’m going to have to take this fucker out old school style.”

“How?”

Actionhero sheathed his wands and pulled out a pair of nickel plated .45s etched with runes. “I’m gonna change genres on him.”

Actionhero opened fire. A hail of bullets tore into the cobra’s flesh leaving bloody gouges. The cobra reared its head and hissed in pain. Moving with a catlike grace, Circe then dodged around its coils, flipping over them, finally reaching the robed figure and landing a vicious kick to its masked head. The figure screamed in pain as its broken mask fell away.

“Son of a bitch,” Circe said. “Tenchi Hoku?!?! You’re trying to steal the Gryffindor Sword?!??”

“Damn you, you whore!!! You ruined my plan!!” In a rage Tenchi Hoku lashed out with his wand. Circe parried it with her own, sparks flying as the wands made contact.

“You’re working for Voldemort?”

“Voldemort?!!? HA!! I’m stealing this sword for Dr. Curare. He wants the traces of basilisk DNA that is still on this blade from when young Mister Potter killed it.”

“That’s stupid. Harry Potter killed the basilisk years ago. There’s no DNA left on the blade worth more than half a wet fart.”

“From what I hear, the Dr. has his ways. And even if there is no DNA, to take something so dear to the Hero, well it’s a bit of pay back isn’t it?”

Across the room, Actionhero dodged and ran as the wounded cobra lunged at him. He’d hurt it, but now, enraged and in pain, it was more dangerous than before. He was going to have to end this fast. He waited as the snake coiled for another strike and then watched it lunge. Actionhero jumped into the air and cast a spell. “WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!!!” The spell lock runes, carved into the soles of his boots flared to life and the levitation spell sent him into a controlled flight over the snakes head. Aiming his pistols down, he opened fire, an endless hail of bullets tearing though the snake’s skull, shattering bone and reducing its brain to so much wet, bloody slop.

Across the room, Tenchi turned to the sound of the gunfire and saw his serpent die a storm of blood and thunder.

“NO!!!!!!!” he screamed dropping his guard. It was more than Circe needed, as she stepped in hit him wither her wand.

“PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!!!!”

“Wha…?” Tenchi gasped as his body began to lock.

“It’s my specialty, fuck head. My wand’s 10 inches of poplar with a core of Medusa serpent coil. Just peachy for petrification.”

Taking the Gryffindor Sword from the sheath slung across his back, Circe left Tenchi frozen in place and walked over to Actionhero who was standing over the cobra’s dead body smoking a slim cigar.

“Nice moves with the wand.”

“Hey, nice moves with the guns.”

“I got mad skills, yo.”

Circe smiled wickedly. Actionhero shook his head. “What?”

“Nothing. It’s just that was what Tonks told me about you.”

Actionhero stood still for a moment. His eyes blinked once, twice as thoughts raced through his head. “I am so gonna kick her ass.”

Circe laughed. “Let’s go find the others and get this fucker out of here. And we should get your shoulder looked at.” She reached out and wrapped her arm around Actionhero’s waist, again pressing herself closely to him.

“Shouldn’t one of us stay behind in case your spell wears off? How long is it good for anyway?”

“Oh baby, I can keep a man hard for as long as I want.”

“Hmmm. Well I did live through my bullshit stunt. You know what that means.”

“I get to kick your ass?”

“No, you get to fuck my brains out.”

“Not until I kick your ass first.”

“You can try.”

“Try?”

“Like I said, I’ve got mad skills yo.”

“Oh I hope so.”

***

Epilogue

All in all it had been a strange but enjoyable night for Bill Weasley. He had been enjoying the Alumnae party with Fleur and had been more than a little put off by its break up to search for the intruder. Nevertheless he’d gotten to spend some time with Fleur as they searched together. And even though they hadn’t found the intruder, they had found a nice, dark alcove, just the right size for the two of them. She had been so turned on from the party that she all but raped him on the spot. Her hands reaching under his shirt and jacket to rake her nails across his back, to pull him towards her as her hot little mouth devoured his own, her breath ragged as she urged him in broken English and French to take her, to fuck her right there. Bill could still feel her body pressed against his, soft and firm in all the right places. Unfortunately, just as he had his belt unbuckled—just has he could feel her precious, long, lithe fingers graze his zipper and front button—he overheard his parents headed their way. With a groan, and in physical pain, he managed to untangle himself from Fleur, who whimpered and almost broke into tears, promising that after this was all settled, he would take her to his apartment in Diagon Alley and give her the fucking of a lifetime.

As the evening dragged on Bill thought he would go mad, as the other wizards finally finished their searches and then went to take care of the intruder who had been captured by Circe and Actionhero. Bill didn’t know anything about Circe but Actionhero was both a friend and a legend. They had actually met back when will was curse breaking and treasure hunting for Gringots and had both killed a couple of mummies and bottle of Napoleon brandy in a hidden tomb along the banks of the Nile. But after Actionhero went to the infirmary to have his shoulder looked at—and consequently disappeared with Circe—all of his thoughts now turned on getting Fleur out of Hogwarts and into his bed. Or even the living room floor of his apartment.

However, that seemed to be an impossible task. After the petrification spell had been removed, Dumbledore, Kingsley, and a few other wizards began to question Tenchi, which led to even more delays as no one was allowed to leave, in case Tenchi had an accomplish. At this point, Bill though he would explode. Or die. Or maybe find a bathroom and have a quick wank just to ease off the tension before he went insane. Edging to the outskits of the Great Hall, trying to decide what to do, and trying not to look at Fleur who was talking with some other witches—Fleur with her high, pert breasts with their hard as cherry stone nipples the color of a rich merlot, her firm yet supple ass, and most of all the way her veela nature took over when she was aroused—Bill was caught unawares by Tonks who snuck up behind him and gave his ass a squeeze.

“Gah!!! The hell?!?!” Bill said as he turned around. Damn that was close, he thought. I almost lost it.

“Sorry about that Bill.

“Oh…uh…it’s you Tonks. How are you?”

“Fine, fine. How about you Bill?” she asked in an exceedingly friendly voice. “You look a little pale. Maybe you want to see your mum”

“NO! I mean, no, I’m fine. Just a little tried is all.”

“Okay,” Tonks said and then casually, almost as if by accident, she brushed her hand along the front of his pants. Bill paled and made a small whimper. “Oh my Bill. You seem more than fine. Or is that the reason you’re so pale? Perhaps I can help?” She leaned in close and whispered in his ear, all the while letting her hand trace random patterns across Bill’s stomach and crotch. “You know what they say about us animagi bill. We’ve got muscles you didn’t even think were possible.”

“Oh…oh god…Tonks you have to stop….No I mean, look don’t make that face…god I want to fuck you…no I didn’t mean that. I’m with Fleur….”

“Did you call, mon cheri?” Fleur asked as she approached. Bill almost broke out in tears. There was no hiding the massive erection that bulged from his trousers. And there was no hiding Tonk’s hand caressing it in lazy movements.

“Oh, Fleur, oh god, I…this isn’t…..”

At that point Fleur looked a Bill and smiled. A seductive, veela smile. Her hand joined Tonk’s below Bill’s waist. And she leaned in and kissed Tonks hotly, as if she were devouring a rip and luscious piece of fruit, her mouth open, her tongue eagerly entwined with Tonk’s which…seemed to be growing every so slightly and moved with a grace more than human. Breaking the kiss, Fleur then kissed Bill in the same way and then purred into his ear. “Tonks had a little chat vith me earlier tonight. I did not theenk you would object to a little ménage a’tois?

“Oh god….”

Tonks began to laugh. “Let’s get this poor boy into a room. I know just the place.”

“Vat is dis room you speak of?” Fleur asked as the three of them the Great Hall, the girls holding hands and Bill being led in an almost zombie like state.

“I found it in my days here. Its called the Room of Requirement. If you have a pressing need—and I think that we have a pressing need—the room provides everything you need.”

“And vat vas it you needed ven you found dis room?”

“Never you mind. Let’s just say I almost never left.”

The three came to athe spot where the Room of Requirement was supposed to be. Walking past the location three times and thinking about they needed—Bill certainly lost in the thoughts of the upcoming orgy—they managed to make the door appear. But as they approached to open it, they heard noises coming from the other side of the door. Leaning closer all three soon realized what the noises were: a woman’s voice.

“Oh god…oh god…fuck…yes…don’t stop…FUCK….Oh…***”

“Oh my…” Fleur breathed, not sure if she was supposed to be embarrassed, disappointed or aroused.

“Bloody hell. I think I know who that is, “ Tonks said. And the she grinned. “Right. Let’s go find another place.”

“Oh no, “Bill groaned as he was led away.

“Come on, Bill,” Fleur said. “Let’s go to ze dungeons. I alvays vanted to do it there….”

Tonks smiled as they walked away and let the door vanish, especaily as the lastthing she heard was a different, distinctively male voice.

“I told you I had mad skills.”

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