2004-08-17 - 8:22 p.m.

How do I feel:

Pissed off that I have no electricity;

Broken hearted that God reminded me of the terms of The Deal;

Contemplating that final soltaire in which my life ends in an elaborate suicide to make a samurai go "Damn....";

Angry at everyone and everything;

Angry at myslef for a host of reasons;

Self Loathing on a truly goth level of self-centeredness (fuck it, I am entitled to this);

Fueling up on hate to get through the next season;

You know, stuff.

There's an Alan Moore line that's in my head:

There is a man who moves so fast that his life is an endless gallery of statues.

That's how I feel. Not that my life is fast, but it is fast enough to slip me by. I feel alone in a house full of statues. I suppose at some point in the near future I'm going to just age to dust in my suit.

There's a Warren Ellis line: sometimes I want to be someone else so much it makes me want to cry.

But then I always knew I would end up this way.

Time to die, Hero.

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