2005-04-06 - 12:40 a.m.

I Told You So

Suki had been so excited about the party that she’s all but bounced off the walls. Gonzo kept shaking his head, telling her it was a bad idea, but eventually shut up after she decked him one. Vittoria, who had followed Suki’s lead like a good little Girl Friday, had shared Gonzo’s skepticism (as she wanted to share so much more with the gunsmith), but had caught some of Suki’s enthusiasm and, as the day of the party approached, had even begun to wear a constant, subtle smile.

Suki had rampaged all over the offices, overseeing every detail personally. Under her critical eye and constantly cursing tongue, Kip and Man of Mystery, Inc.’s Maintenance Crew had spent a day and half decorating a whole floor of Man of Mystery, Inc., clearing out all of the esoteric tech that had been left over from Doctor Savage’s ownership. They had set up the decorations too. Special muted lighting for a nice, cozy feel; tables just small enough for intimate little clusters; slim vases of roses (red, white and even those gene-tweaked black ones the specialty firm in Maushaven sold); even some little sparkly hearts for a bit of cute (Suki’s idea, which she was very partial too—which Kip found out after he had made a snide comment about them and gotten decked).

Even Gonzo had eventually joined in (after Suki had pestered him enough and decked him again), calling some contacts from the Kasbah to take care of the catering. About a dozen dark, hard looking blokes led by a gold toothed, four hundred pound unsmiling man by the name of Abdullah “The Butcher,” had descended on the floor like mercenaries (which they probably were), setting up a field kitchen and began to prepare an eight-course meal with ruthless efficiency. Suki had had her doubts and was about to hit Gonzo again, but after tasting the Béarnaise, and recovering from the near orgasm, had to admit that they would make this party unforgettable.

Suki had designed the invitations herself: smiling, cat-suited Japanese manga girls just this side on hentai winking and inviting the addressed to “A Super, Mega, Ultra, Fun Time at Man of Mystery, Inc. (aka The old Savage Building) on Valentines Day.” Gonzo and Vittoria had barely managed to keep a straight face when they saw them.

On the night of the party, she spent a good two hours getting ready, perfectly styling her hair and make up. Finally she checked herself out in the mirror: the long red silk Chinese “Dragon Lady” dress (with gold and azure characters spelling out dirty words), the slit in the skirt almost to her waist, showing off the sexy little garter belt and, more importantly, her shoes: fuck goddess stilettos with straps that wound up her calves like Italian mountain highways. Walking out of her room, Suki took the elevator down to the ballroom and, sexual energy ramped up to maximum, walked inside.

To an empty room.

She looked around. The catering staff were all standing to one side, smoking cigarettes laced with West African dagga and waiting for something to do. Sitting at a table, looking distinctly uncomfortable in a Armani suit, Gonzo was sharing a plate of sautéed shrimp with The Girl, who was channeling Audrey from Breakfast at Tiffany’s (if Audrey were blonde and a British assassin and drinking beer from a pint glass emblazoned with an SAS military crest). Holding a small glass of wine and wearing a sheepish smile and a severe suit that looked like it had been designed by the East German Fashion Secret Police (that still in no way detracted from it sexiness), Vittoria walked over to her.

“Uh, there seems to have been a misunderstanding.”

”Huh? Where is everybody?!?!”

“This is everybody.”

“WHAT?!?! But…didn’t they get the invitations…?”

“Yes…but, um, they all called and said thanks but none of them could make it.”

“Ves?”

“Last minute change.”

“Anyone else from Imperatrix Holdings?”

“Last minute cancellations.”

“Pete and Heather?”

“Couldn’t find a babysitter.”

“Heph and Lady Jean?”

“Not even an answer from The Layla.”

“Quentin? Wheel? Doctor Curare? Oblivion? Kid Kabuki?”

“Uh, they all said they were busy with other…stuff.”

“What? Why?”

Gonzo looked up from the table, where another waiter had brought Oysters Rockefeller, which the Girl was downing with almost pornographic glee.

“Because they think it’s a trap.”

“WHAT?!?!!?”

“Think, Suki. A Valentines Day Party. At Man of Mystery, Inc. Actionhero’s old office. With proton cannons and hidden rail guns and poison sprayers and robots. Hell, that new librarian you hired on and Kip and the clean up crew didn’t even show.”

“But we’ve got shrimp and sea bass and Kobe beef in sixteen sauces and that beer from the Valley of Lost History, you now the one made from grains that died off in the Triassic by a sect of monks who should have been killed off in the Reformation Wars!!!”

“Is that what that is?” The Girl said, smacking her lips and taking another pull from her pint glass. ‘It’s really, really good.”

Suki looked at the two at the able and at Vittoria. “No one’s coming?” She had an odd look on her face, and it took Vittoria a second to realize that Suki was on the verge of tears. “Man, now I know why the boss hated Valentines Day. Is it so wrong just to want to be loved?!?!!?!?”

A loud beeping started up. In a flash, Vittoria had her palm pilot in her hand, checking it.

“Perimeter alarm.”

“Not inside?!?” Gonzo was on his feet and at her side in a flash. “No way they got through my security upgrades!!!!!”

“No, it’s a street team. Looks like they’re going to force the lobby.”

The Girl was moving now. “Armory’s upstairs right?”

“No need.” Vittoria pushed a few buttons on her pocket ‘puter’s screen and several cases of weapons appeared in a electric copper flash of light. “We’re wired for emergency electromagnetic teleport inside the building.”

They loaded up on weapons and gear and walked out of the room. Gonzo turned to the caterers. “Tell Abdullah to keep the food ready. We’ll be back in a sec. And we’re sure to be hungry.”

As they got into the elevator The Girl gave Suki a small comforting smile. “Hell of a Valentines Day present, Suki.”

Suki finally smiled—or at least showed her teeth—and turned to the front of the elevator. “I suppose it is a perfect Valentines Day for Man of Mystery, Inc.”

The doors opened at the lobby and Suki pulled her Never Empty Clip pistols and walked to the ninjas who were just entering the building. “After all, love means never having to reload your pistols.”

***
Outside Man of Mystery, Inc. the two killers crouched and on a rooftop across the street and watched the battle spill outside the Old Savage Building. Suki had taken the fight to the streets, killing ninjas out of a kind of cathartic need. One of the watchers smiled as he watched her and smiled as he read her life, her soul through her body.

“Just as I thought,” he muttered.

“And how is that?” the second one—a woman—said.

“She tells her story in her fights. They all do. That is the key to defeating them.”

Tetsu-ko shrugged and took a drag on her Mild Seven. She’d had Techyoto’s best “security consultants” analyze Suki Katayama and the others at Man of Mystery, Inc. through hours of recordings and reports. Counter intelligence experts had analyzed the physical location of the building looking for a weak spot. Weaponeers had studied everything scrap of information on Gonzo’s guns and the pimp mobiles. She’d even sent field psychologists to spy on them to come up with profiles. Nothing. All reports came to the conclusion that nothing short of a tactical nuke would destroy this team. And even then, it would only have a ten percent chance of success. Now, desperate for any kind of results, Omi-san already hinting at his growing displeasure during their sessions of “executive stress management,” she had put a call out to Xhou.

Inspector Xhou. He was a cop, probably the most dangerous in the City and that meant something. City Police were notoriously corrupt; the worst of them hired thugs for the right price. Xhou, however, was a full out mercenary captain. He ran the City’s Special Crimes Task Force, essentially a small army of hired killers, premier assassins who served all the rights Powers in the City. And even among the crème de la crème of killers, Xhou was considered a god with skills and abilities that even Tetsu-ko didn’t possess.

“So tell me, Xhou. You’re feng shui fu work?”

“You should have come to me sooner Tetsu-ko. You would have had Man of Mystery, Inc. broken by now and Suki in chains for you and your daimyo’s pleasure. Do you see the way Suki fights? The utter sureness of her moves. Like a princess. Just the way her ‘father’ Silky Sakai raised her. Now look at Gonzo. Do you see the way he’s always protecting her? Shooting ninjas before they can get close to her, covering her back as she presses her attack. He’ll always watch out for her and she knows it. Like a ‘big brother’ should.” Xhou took a small vial from his long coat and opened it popping a few of the pills inside. His eyes seemed to brighten, his focus on the fight intensify.

“Look, Tetsu-ko. Look at them. Their whole story is playing out before you. Can’t you see the patterns? Look at Vittoria. So beautiful, so perfect. A natural born killer. But see? She’s always keeping an Suki. Oh sure, they work together, complimenting attacks, working off each other’s leads and silent signals. Like ‘sisters’ should. But you can see it in my Vittoria’s eyes and her body: she’s watching for Suki as well, along with Gonzo. Suki is so lucky. ‘Big Brother and Sis’ are always there for her. Will she cry out their names when Omi rapes her, Tetsu-ko? You will have to tell me. Perhaps a recording?’

Tetsu-ko smiled evilly. “If we pull this off Xhou, consider it a bonus. Hell, when I have my turn with Suki I’ll even let you come and watch.”

“She’s good. MI-6. SAS. U.N.IC.O.R.N. Very British in her training. But there’s something about her…she’s hiding something. She cares about Suki but more about Gonzo. But…I don’t know. Something about her bothers me. Will she lave them if the shot hits the fan? I can’t see her dying for a lost cause. She is British. And Her Majesty’s Secret Service does teach them about the necessity of ‘acceptable losses.’ She bears more watching. But Suki, there’s your weak link. Look Tetsu-ko. Can you see?”

“All I see, Xhou, is that little slut fighting like cat in heat.”

“EXACTLY! Look at her style!! So sure of herself, so sure she will be protected, and fighting with reckless abandon, almost as if she’s desperate to prove herself.”

“Prove herself? To who?”

“ACTIONHERO!!” Xhou spun and gazed wide eyed at the Tetsu-ko. “Her boss. A legend in her life and someone she always wanted to prove herself to. Even in death his shadow is cast over her life. Look at her, fighting to prove to herself she can live up to his expectations. There’s your weakness Tetsu-ko. Suki will do anything to prove herself worthy of ‘Hero. And should would die before she failed him.”

Tetsu-ko looked at the fight. It was over now, Gonzo and the Girl kissing briefly and then separating to check the bodies and perimeter for more threats, Vittoria torturing a last living ninja for information with those Jesuit skills and Suki asking questions with rapid fire profanity.

“I see. Thank you Xhou. We’ll call you for the next stage of the mission. I;ve arranged for your fee to be wired to your account.”

“Just remember my ultimate payment.”

“Of course, dear Inspector. Ms. Verta is all yours when this is over. In fact, you can even bring her by Techyoto for a little reunion with Suki. Once we have her broken in.”

Xhou smiled and storked his long Fu Manchu mustache for a moment, watching the Man of Mystery, Inc. crew go back inside their building, and then broke out into a deep and evil laugh. After a moment, Tetsu-ko joined in.

The Countdown To Visibility Continues

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